Master of none. This is often how I feel. I’ve climbed some small hills, but never any mountains. I’m above the ground (average) in a lot of ways, but never flying. I often think if I had the time and could dedicate the attention I could enter the high ranks of a community, but there’s too much going on. Similar to other posts of mine this is a duality or a dialectic, I have on the one hand the view that there’s too much going on, then I take time to post something like this. In reality, there is a lot going on and maybe I shouldn’t be taking time to do this, however, for my own mental clarity I feel like I NEED to get some ideas down and hopefully return to them (or exceed them) in the future. The dual nature of this problem is that while I am no master in any field, I am protected in my diversity of “trades.” By not investing everything into one particular area of my life I can always take solace in that “at least I didn’t try to be a rapper” or “at least I didn’t go into professional sports” or “at least I didn’t drop out of school to start a failed business.” There are many roads not traveled that I’m very happy about (I express a similar thought in a different post), but even the person who is statistically really lucky in the game of life still wishes they were even MORE lucky. What if I did pick the exact correct field? What if I had gotten into X at time Y? Can you imagine? I think life is a lot of gambling and of course you always wonder about what if you had bet more and won bigger (even if by most standards you’ve been really really lucky). That’s where I’m at. On paper I have everything, I realize that. I still have problems, but they are minor, I can look at them objectively and say “this is a minor problem, I owe this organization some money, pay in the next 30 days?” “Okay” I say, I’m not broke. The problems I have could be crippling to someone in a different situation, but I’m not that person.
But back to the prompt, being of all trades I am not in them equally. I’m not a master of anything, but I’m not equally distributed amongst all trades. I’m actually an intermediate of several trades, not a master, but maybe a journeyman (I ain’t no NOOB). I have money, I have my health, (6 figures, 6 pack abs, 6 inches…is half the size of a ruler) and a beautiful family. It’s like, I maybe want to make an app that will give people a score saying, you are THIS unique. Like, how many people have six pack abs? 2% okay. How many people make X amount a year? 10% okay multiply that by 2%, and so forth. Eventually you’ll say something like “the number of people that can code, have two beautiful kids (boy AND girl), have been married for over X years, etc. etc.” and you see, “WOW, I’m SOOOOOOO lucky.” But that’s only when you objectively get it all written out like that. You don’t FEEL lucky, you have to KNOW that you’re lucky. Your brain is only capable of wanting more, if you were lacking dopamine you’d just sit there and not even bother.
I know my time is limited and I’ve already taken too long. Much like this post (and MOST of my posts to be honest), I’m never fully developing things. I’m half baking life, it’s not tasty to you the consumer, but at least you won’t starve I hope. Anyway, enjoy your floopy, disgusting half-dough half-bread hybrid of ideas.
